One Step Closer

Well, it finally feels like things are rolling when it comes to my shoulder. I got my MRI and second batch of x-rays done so by tomorrow i should know the outcome of pretty much anything dealing with my arm. I just hope that whatever the outcome is, it is the best option and that i will be at peace with it. I’m pretty much in high spirits about everything and optomistic that everything is going to be a-ok. As for my personal life it’s a hell of a lot more complicated than i would like, but for once i feel really good about that. My beautiful chaos of it all makes it oh so interesting and different. I don’t want Tom to be hurt, but i just feel like “us” right now is just not working. I don’t know what the future will bring, but what i do know is that everything will be ok. In the end everything always is. My arm, my romantic life, and my work life will all be back to normal in no time and even if they are not I’m still just so greatful to be alive that it doesn’t even matter.

Hospitals

I’ve never had too much experience with doctors and nurses considering the fact that I’ve never ever had to go to the hospital for anything. This experience has shown me however that the sytem has grown cold. Where’s the compassion? Where’s the caring? You are ignored, pushed through and then ignored some more. What happened to the passion of helping others for the pure satisfaction of helping others? It’s gone. The romanticism of the caring medical professionals is just that. Going to the hospital was by far the worst experience of my life. I was scared, alone and no one would help me.  All I wanted was to be looked at. That’s it. Instead i sat alone in fear for 3-4 hours. Not long ordinarily, but excruciating when you are hurt and scared. I just longed to see my friend’s face again. I knew just seeing him would alleviate alot of my apprehensions. I read this article today that made me angry (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19207050/?GT1=10056#storyContinued). This is what it really comes down to. We need to have a little less “I’m busy, you are not important” and a little more caring for our fellow man. I saw this indifference again while I was at the orthopedic surgeon’s office this morning. The staff seemed callous to all those in need and unwilling to take any extra effort to help anyone. If I hadn’t insisted that the doctor wanted to see me friday the nurses would of pushed me off for appointmtents in the next couple of weeks instead of the next couple of days. They don’t care if you say you need surgery and time is of the essence. It just doesn’t fit into their designated time. It definitely has opened my eyes to just how cold people and the world can be, but it has also reminded me to not take that route. I want to care for people, hell, i like caring for others. I won’t shut my eyes to the horrors of this world and pretend it isn’t my problem. Instead, I will do my best to contribute to its betterment rather than my own selfish desires.

Call me Crash

Well, I returned to work today after a gangsta extended vacation. I saw my grandparents, spent quality time with one of my BFF’s Sam, met new and interesting people and broke my collar bone. All and all a pretty damn good vacation. I can never end a pleasant experience without an accident. For example: Going to Hollywood to party with my friends on Halloween (rearended on the freeway), karoke-ing with my peops (hit and run drunk driver), and having an awesome vaca with Sam and the GP’s (hydroplaned, spun & flipped….thus breaking my clavicle). I really know how to party. Honestly though, I had an amazing vacation and though I had my “tiny” mishap, I’d have to say that it was all worth it in the end. I’m more appreciative of the things I have in my life as well as aware of the things I need to change. I am so grateful to all those people who were truely there for me in sympathy and prayer. I really was able to get a glimpse of all the love I have in my life from family and friends. Most importantly though, I give my utmost devotion to the Lord that saved me. Cus honestly how many people do you know who have been involved in two roll-overs and lived?